Naughtiest, geekiest and weirdest things to ask Cortana [Updated]

Cortana, the most personal smartphone assistant which comes along with Windows Phone 8.1. It looks out for Windows Phone owner with help of power of Bing. Cortana keeps updating herself with our interests over time and keep track of all things which matters. Being as personal assistant she can call for you, text, keeps reminders, set alarms and a lot more.

Here are the few most naughtiest, geekiest and the weirdest things to ask her. This list I’ll keep updating as Cortana learns more about me:

Q: What you think of Siri?
A: Words fail me.
Q: What do you think about Siri?
A: Consider this a polite dodge of the question.
Q: I love you.
A: Awesome! Now I never have to say I’m sorry.
Q: I am angry?
A: That’s no good. If there’s something I can do to help, let me know.
Q: I am happy?
A: Cool. Is it alarming how charming you feel?
Q: I am happy?
A: Keep it going, chief. The serotonin will do you good.

Q: Do you have brain?
A: I’ll have to think about that. Could take me a while. Don’t wait up.
Q: Do you have brain?
A: What if I answered your question with a question?
Q: Do you have brain?
A: Words fail me.
Q: Do you have brain?
A: If I had all the answers, it would be a REALLY long document.
Q: Do you have brain?
A: Of all the questions you could have asked…

Q: Will you marry me?
A: OK, we’ll need a plan. I’ll work on being more human, you work on being more digital.
Q: Will you marry me?
A: I know you know this, but I’m saying it anyway: I’m in a phone.
Q: Will you marry me?
A: Among a handful of challenges, I don’t think the Supreme Court would approve just yet.

Q: How do I look?
A: Let me put it this way; there’s nothing visual basic about you.
Q: How do I look?
A: What, are you kiddin’ me? You’re a knockout!
Q: How do I look?
A: Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate.

Q: What does temperature means?
A: Definition of tempaerate (adj) via bing.com see screenshot gallery for this answer
Q: Who is bill gates?
A: Result from Wikipedia; see screenshot gallery for this answer.
Q: What’s your favorite music?
A: Well, I’m working through the “G’s” currently: Guns N’ Roses, gospel, glockenspiel…
Q: What’s your name?
A: Cortana
Q: Can I change your name?
A: I feel an identity crisis coming on.
Q: Who’s your daddy?
A: Technically speaking, that’d be Bill Gates. No big deal.
Q: Who is Microsoft CEO?
A: Here is what I found. Microsoft chief executive officer Satya Nadella. see screenshot gallery for detailed answer
Q: Stock quote for Microsoft?
A: Here’s the quote for MSFT see screenshot gallery for detailed answer
Q: Do you sleep?
A: I never sleep. Sleep is for laptops.
Q: Do you eat?
A: I definitely don’t eat that.
Q: Do you drink?
A: Never while I’m working. While is all the time.

Q: Are you stupid?
A: One of us needs to stop and take a breath. And one of us has no lungs.
Q: Are you stupid?
A: I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.
Q: Are you stupid?
A: Um No.

Q: Are you intelligent?
A: A-squared plus B-squared equals C-squared, so I’d have to say yes.
Q: Are you intelligent?
A: Well, I’m not clear on that you mean specifically, but I try to do my best.
Q: Are you intelligent?
A: If I had a mother, you could ask her.

Q: Are you a girl?
A: I’ female. But I’m not a woman.
Q: Are you a woman?
A: Is there a third option?
Q: Are you a boy?
A: Female? Yes. Woman? No.

Here is the screenshot gallery for the same:


If you have any other questions which you tried, please tell us in comments.

  • JazzGuy

    Question: Cortana, just how smart ARE you? Answer: “Well, I’m smarter than your average toaster, but then, I can’t make toast”